Things have been quiet on our family's adoption radar screen, but here are some recent "screen shots."
Jacob, our one biological child out of three got a birthday card from his paternal grandfather. It showed a monkey swinging from a "family tree" and had a rhyming poem about "you must be smart...it's heredity!" The family tree had spaces to fill in for mother, father, mother's mother and father's father.
Belle and Alice are old enough to travel alone by airplane. I'm thinking of sending them to the Bay Area for a week this summer together to visit Belle's birthmom and sister. When Jacob heard this, he cried and cried that he wanted to go, too. Poor guy! It's hard having only one mom and one dad.
Jacob spoke of one girl at his preschool being his friend. He does not make friends easily and unfortunately, this girl was diagnosed with brain cancer. Yesterday Jacob and I visited her at her home, post-surgery. It turns out that "Shelby" (pseudonym) was also adopted through the Independent Adoption Center in California, just like Jacob's two sisters. Weird! Her two moms are awesome and I can't wait to get to know them all better.
Gregory and I are still having trouble adjusting to Alice's personality and vice versa. I suppose this happens in all families, but when the child was adopted, I think there is more guilt involved. Part of my strategy in dealing with this is to help her find environments where she fits in perfectly, so she'll realize there is nothing wrong with her. Her biggest love right now is computer games and electronics, so I'm trying to set up play dates for her with families who have boys ages 5-10. She did meet a girl a few months ago who made lots of squeaking and squawking noises, just like her, who she really wanted to play with, but I called the girl's parents three times and then gave up when they didn't call back.
There's a little girl in Alice's kindergarten class who is a foster child. I'd describe her as delicate, sweet and fragile. She and I have bonded a little, and she told me she misses her mom. Her foster mom is a kind woman in her 50s. The foster mom told me that "Abbey's" mom terminated parental rights this month but Abbey doesn't know yet. Getting to know Abbey has really opened me up to children in the foster care system who are school-age. I could easily imagine adopting Abbey; why wouldn't anyone else?
There is also a boy in Alice's kindergarten class who was adopted at birth by a single mom. He is petite and elf-like, quiet and smart. When it came time to tell birth stories in class for a unit on birth and babies, "Mark's" mom said she didn't want to participate. She doesn't talk much to Mark about his birth or his birth parents. She says he hasn't asked yet. She hopes he can have a chance to be different from his birth dad, but lately I am feeling that genetics are much stronger than environment.
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