"The Family That Grew" is a book written by Florence Rondell and Ruth Michaels, published in 1951 in New York. The illustrations were updated for my 1965 reprint copy, the edition lent to me by my friend Dominic who is an adult adoptee. It was his book as a child. A big improvement over "The Chosen Child" of 1939, "The Family That Grew" acknowledges the existence of biological parents on the first page. Except - they're called "a man" and "a lady!" It reads, "A man and a lady start every little baby. And that's how you started, too."
There's acknowledgment that the biological parents care about their child: "when you were born, the lady and the man who started you also wanted to take care of you." Then it says, "Sometimes, though, something happens so that people cannot take care of the babies they start, and that happened to the lady and the man who started you."
1950s dominant culture is very evident in this book. The baby is kept always physically apart: in a crib, a carriage, a high chair. The baby's food comes in jars from the store. The mother stays home and the father works outside the home. But already, in 1951, the adoptive mother and father are proudly telling the "grocer" to "wrap up his very finest baby-foods, for the wonderful new baby they were adopting as their own." In other words, the adoption is not secret, and the adoptive parents feel pride, rather than shame that "As much as they wanted it, no baby grew inside your Mommy."
The last part of the book talks about the child's birthday and makes reference again to the adoption and the biological parents - although indirectly: "Every birthday, Daddy and Mommy thought again how glad they were that you were born, and that they adopted you. They thought of the many wonderful things you had done together since you were their child, and they were your Father and Mother." These lines acknowledge that there was a time before the adoptive parents were the parents. But it doesn't make any more mention of those two people, the "man" and the "lady."
I suppose the use of "lady" versus "woman" is an attempt to give the biological mother respect, dignity, standing, but the "lady" is never called a "mother." It was assumed that there could only be one mother. Especially since the mother's role was so narrowly defined ("After your Mommy finished the shopping, she took you the playground...") If that's all mothers do, it doesn't leave much room for different types of mothers.
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